Many people enter into relationships with certain expectations. While having expectations is not necessarily a bad thing, having unrealistic expectations can spell disaster for any couple. We’ve all been there – we meet someone, we start dating, and everything is going great. But then, somewhere down the line, things change. The other person doesn’t text us back as quickly as they used to, they make plans without us, or don’t seem interested in us anymore. When this happens, we are often left wondering: ‘What happened?’
The answer is simple: Our expectations got the best of us. We expected the other person to keep up with us, to always be available, or always put us first and when they didn’t, we got upset. But, these expectations are unfair and can often lead to the downfall of relationships.
Here are five expectations can destroy even the strongest of relationships:
Expect your partner to always agree with you?
Do you find yourself getting frustrated when they don’t? Having disagreements is normal in any relationship. In fact, it’s healthy. If you can’t handle disagreements without getting angry or upset, then that’s a sign that you need to work on your emotional mastery.
Expect your partner to read your mind?
This is a big one. We often expect our partners to know what we’re thinking or feeling without us having to say anything, but this is an unfair expectation. We all have different love languages and it’s important to communicate with each other what makes us feel loved. If you’re always expecting your partner to know what you need without ever explicitly telling them, then you’re setting yourself up for disappointment. If you’re feeling hurt or upset about something, tell them. Don’t expect them to magically know what’s wrong or how to fix it.
Expect your partner to never make mistakes?
We’re all make mistakes. It’s important to be able to forgive your partner when they do something that hurts you. If you can’t let go of past hurts, then it’s going to be difficult to move forward in the relationship. Nobody likes to be wrong, but in a relationship, it’s bound to happen from time to time. And that’s okay. What’s not okay is expecting your partner to always agree with you or see things your way. That’s not only unrealistic, but it can also lead to conflict and resentment. Instead of expecting your partner to always agree with you, try to see things from their perspective and be open to compromise.
Expect perfection from your partner?
This is an impossible standard to live up to, and it puts a lot of pressure on both partners. It’s important to remember that nobody’s perfect, and that even the best relationships require work. Instead of looking for perfection, try to focus on finding someone who makes you happy and who you can build a happy life with.
Expect your partner to always be there for you?
While it would be nice if our partners could always be there for us, however, the reality is that they have their own lives too. They have their own friends, families, and responsibilities. So, don’t get angry at them if they can’t drop everything to be with you all the time. Just remember that they’ll always be there for you when you need them the most.
If you find yourself having any of the above expectations in your relationship, it’s important to sit down with your partner and talk to them about it. Discuss why these expectations might be unreasonable and see if there’s a compromise that can be reached before the relationship becomes toxic.
(Dr. Chandni Tugnait, Psychotherapist, Life Coach, Business Coach, NLP Expert, Healer, Founder & Director at the Gateway of Healing)